Learning to Shift

I had the teenage boy’s first dream job: filling vending machines. I landed the job when I was 16. BUT! There was a catch. I had to be able to drive a “3 on a tree" panel van…in other words, a manual transmission with the shifter on the column.

Fortunately, my grandpa owned a pale green 1964 Chevy pick up with 3 on the tree. I got on my bike and rode to grandpa's. Before he'd let me take the truck on the road I had to prove myself in a field. He got the truck to the field, got out, and went in the house. With the determination of a boy wanting to prove his manhood, I slid onto the driver’s seat and proceeded to stall out time and time and time again.  Finally, I managed to move. The problem was as the truck gained speed, the reality was I needed to shift to second. So much coordination was needed… or soon I would be wearing a neck brace. Eventually I got the hang of things after grinding my share of gears. I landed the summer job and enjoyed being paid to eat candy bars, I mean to fill vending machines with candy bars.

We all have times when we need to shift...from being single to married, from one job to another, from the loss of a parent to a new reality, from no kids to kids, from kids living at home to an empty nest, and the reality of a shift from marriage to single hood (some by choice others by a complete inability to stop it). Learning to shift is a reality that at times I've handled well and others not so well.

Recently, I have had to learn another kind of shifting. It’s actually a whole string of shifts I’m  having to make. I’m shifting from full-time vocational ministry to ministry as a lifestyle.  While I do not miss the endless meetings, having to go into the office, or feeling the weight of responsibility, now I wonder who am I without this role? Emotions threaten… like insecurity, fear, and worthlessness. I wonder what do I do with my time? Will my gifts of communication or leadership ever be used anywhere again? Is there a place for me as just Marty? Am I done making an impact? Will I just fade into the sunset doing crossword puzzles, wearing slippers, eating dinner at 4:30, and becoming an opinionated, grumpy old man? 

There have been two passages of scripture that speak deeply into my feelings and questions:

1. Lamentations 3:22-23: The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning.
2. John 5:17 ...Jesus said to them, “My Father is always at his work to this very day, and I too am working.”

As I shift, God has been faithful and His mercy right beside me. Every now and then I have opportunities to use my gifts and build His Kingdom. Knowing that God is always working in and through me is comforting. Though my shift took me out of a full-time role, He is not finished using me. The question becomes: am I aware of His working and join Him versus am I wondering what’s next? 

I don’t know what shifts you may be encountering but what I do know is God’s faithfulness and mercies are always at work. God is always working.  Are you looking for what he is doing? Some shifts, I’m learning, are smooth and fluid; while others are grinding with whiplash. The good news is: no matter how we shift, God’s faithfulness and mercy are constant passengers right beside us. Hopefully, as you approach your next shift, you will see God working and you know He will be faithful with his mercy for you as you "grind some gears.”

Happy Shifting,

Marty